The most important story in a job search is the story we tell ourselves.

  • I used to tell myself I was not the type of person who got to be an entrepreneur. I was the type of person to be an employee.
  • I used to tell myself that I had too much energy to be taken seriously by professionals. And that my career would always be working with children.

When I was telling myself these stories I believed it to be true until I looked around. When I looked around at how people were reacting to me and my work, I felt I might be wrong. And while I kept telling myself to not dream too big, I paid attention to what was really going on.

I was playing small and no one was buying it. They aren’t buying it with you either.

Are you telling yourself a limiting story about the work you are allowed to pursue?

Are you telling yourself a story that keeps you stuck, but secure?

Let’s try and stop it.

I had to reset the story that I was telling myself because it made me sad. I started a self-directed meditation program and combined it with contemplation.

Watch the story of loving yourself

I also found this Buddha quote that started with, “Love yourself and watch – Today, tomorrow, always.”

What I like about Buddhist teachings is you need to read and test them, not simply believe them. So I decided to start to love myself and watch what would happen.

One of the easiest ways to do this, is use “I love myself” as a mantra.

Instructions:

  1. Get into a comfortable seated position. I prefer a meditation cushion, but a pillow or chair work too. Sit so that hips are higher than your knees.
  2. Set a timer for five minutes. I use the Insight Timer.
  3. Close your eyes and listen to the sounds in the room. Hear them without judging them. It might be traffic sounds, birds, or your creaky old heater. Be aware of the space you take up in the room.
  4. Breathe in and out. Inhale and exhale.
  5. On the next inhale, say to yourself, “I love myself”
  6. On the next exhale, breathe out in silence.
  7. Keep doing steps #5 & #6 until the timer rings. If your thoughts go somewhere else, thank your brain for doing its job and come back to inhaling “I love myself”.

Try this for a week and watch.

Another version is the method Kamal Ravikant describes in his book. He does a similar method, but with music.

And watch

I watched if anything would change because of this action, and it did. I started paying attention to things that I agreed to do that didn’t feel like I loved myself. Loving myself gave me permission to start dreaming about what else I could do. It helped me to imagine an even better life.

The story you tell yourself is going to be there your entire job search. Why not include loving yourself in that narrative?